Breathe deeply in the silence

I skip school today, and last night was the best sleep I have ever experience maybe because I didn't sleep early in my past few weeks or maybe because I'm lightheaded last night that's why I actually fell asleep as soon as I got home and put all the covers on me because It's so cold even though it's supposed to be hot cause it's summer.

While I was in "deep thought" this morning, It actually occurred to me how we take our "teen years" into a mess, most of us doing nothing at all, like watching TV all day and night, eating different various of foods, Facebbok(ing), or going to any different website that exist out there, then there's this teen who smoke, do drugs, party everyday, the rebellious type and then there's the one who study all day that forgot that there's actually a real world outside her window waiting for her to explore. And what really made me cringe is that there's actually a GROUP of TEENS who cut, committed suicide, or starve herself to death because of bullying, it made me feel so depressed over things like this. Many people can see the same things but have their own views on it, so I keep asking myself (Why, how, when, what, and where?) will this stop? When will you stop judging a person by what they've been through, for what they look like or for what their status in life is. When will someone speak for this troubled and depressed teens who seek for help and affection. when will people stop doing this kind of things? when?

  

 

I once encountered some bump along the road when I was in 7th grade, I was at home and just hanging out with my cat while scrolling down on my news feed then a certain comment caught my eye, I was so confuse at first then I know it hurts me bad, really BAD, a stranger called me "fat, ugly, bitch, slut" any stupid unremarkable comment I know was there, written on my wall. First I thought 'I don't care' then its like a flame then turning into a wildfire, the next day I did the same thing and saw that the stranger put something again and you don't wanna know what she had written but of course why would I care when I know who I am, but why would I lie to you guys, you may never know what the open door will lead you to. It was horrible, I was so horrid that day and to my nightmare my mom saw me crying and she ask me why and whats wrong she saw my laptop open and stuck on the screen is the most horrible WORDS that someone ever said to me, like a mad woman my mom hugged me and told me all this suited things and so is my dad.

The thing is I'm my parents child, I grew up wanting them to be proud of me and giving all the happiness they deserve, My mom told me how I'm such a tough girl that I can stand up for myself but what she didn't know is that, 'I am afraid" afraid of being the only one who or the only teen who got caught up in '70's' styles and lifestyle. I read books most of the time which now a days teens are afraid or hate to do, I love old music and alternative types which only the old one's understand, I love writing that now a days teens can't, I read poems about life and nature that teens now think it's corny and old fashion, I love cat's that teens now prefer dogs, I'm weird that teens now bullied.

But I love that, I love everything in this world that can be love, even if its impossible, even if its hard to live in this world full of moss. People keep believing lies within someone's word, it's really frustrating.

People at my age who point out everyone's flaws are those teens that needs attention, but doing it wrong by bashing someone or hurting someone's feeling, Its unfair how you guys can hide your face behind your computer screen while the person you hurt are mostly can't be healed because of your unpleasant words that you've thrown them, saying things that hurt other people aren't nice at all, yes you may feel a lot better when you type those 'ugly' words on him/her but trust me it will backfire to you, all those nasty words that you send them through anonymously are going back to you if you don't stop, you don't know if that person is alright, or maybe you don't know how she cut every night and cry herself to sleep while in her head is spinning rapidly the words you send her, the words that might cause life and death situation for her/him. How would you know anyway? when you don't even know them personally, you don't even know what they're going through, you don't know their lifestyle, you don't know anything about her, yes because you're just an anonymous person who doesn't have any power in a real situation because YOU'RE HIDING YOURSELF behind that screen, that it made you think you're brave enough to attack someone over the internet. when all you do is sit there behind that damn computer smiling like she won a lottery after sending someone 'a death threat, a nasty joke, and hurtful words'. let me ask you "When someone send you those words like the one you sent that person? what will be your reaction and feelings?" hurt right? well you should think first before typing.

And to those teens who smoke, and do drugs. It was never the answer to all your problem or to what you're going through, (reality checked: life's hard if you make it one) I had seen so many teens in my age smoking (mostly) and have experience a mental breakdown because of too much drugs or whatsoever they are doing, and it disappoint me how can they do this while me? on the other line was just reading books at home and planning what will I do in the near future. I was devastated whenever I saw someone at my age doing things like they're an adult, I never experience anything like that but to what i have know I know smoking makes you relived stress and make you forget all your problems but since we're talking about this, it also means "killing yourself softly". like what i always say to my dad, honestly I always TRIED to convinced my dad to stop smoking, and sometimes he'll listen to me but mostly he wouldn't and find some excuses for himself to do so.I was never the one to obliged someone, so it was hard.

But guys think better, you're giving yourself a reason to just give up everything that was planned for you, you were giving yourself a hard times in the future (even now) You're young and bright you should keep it that way, try to pursue your dreams, for you, if not for you for the people who believe in you, the people who's there from the beginning of your existence. Give them the reason to believe in you to cheer you on through every obstacles in life that you/you'll encounter. It was never to late to start again

I was reading this book who (looks like a boring one) maybe because of its plain cover but as i said don't judge a book by its cover right? but I bought it anyway, because I was so interested in it specially because Its the twins who wrote it (Alex&Brett Harris) I know what you're thinking WHO THE HELL IS ALEX AND BRETT? for the record they're the one who accomplished so many things at the age 16 which in our century is not that vulgar. The chase their dreams with love and passion through it, Its like they have a 40 yrs old mind in them. That's why I wanted to pursue my dreams, step by step and little by little. I want to work hard and do my best, I wanted to be SOMEBODY, someone who can change the world that are now damage with its own society.

To all those people who stumble through my blogs, young or old, I want you guys to be happy, It's not about the age when it comes to dreaming it's about how you handle things through difficulty, how you get mature through every task, how you manage to stand up after the fall, its about your stupid mistakes that in the future you will thank because from then and now you wouldn't be there if it wasn't for that.

Ok so back to the point, as I was saying whenever I woke up early, my mind always work the best. so because it's my first BEST SLEEP ever I was satisfied and can think clear now. I'm planning to keep it this way. Because I wanted to do everything in one day (if that's possible) because I don't want to waste ONE DAY doing nothing when I can do something, like I will never be young as I was yesterday so why waste a one day opportunity to change and do something. :))


 (Playlist #3 White Sky - Vampire Weekend)