Un Échec

I rarely don't open my laptop now and I barely talk to any of my current friends and I'm happy that I don't need to pretend like I'm some kind of guru to anyone because honestly it's irritating, anyway this is not about WHAT I DID THIS WEEK post and I'm not planning on writing those kind of stuff when needed too, starting today. Don't ask me why, because the point of this blog is for me to express my passion in life and make a mark on everyones heart and make you guys understand how precious life can be.


'Un Échec' meaning 'life and friends', I've been the kind of girl who always stood on her ground in some ways where I am the one who's taking over my life which is ironic from all of you because no one like EVER wanted anyone to take the pen from their hand to write their whole life story, so you guys understand my drift to this blog, (hopefully).

We always lose some closure to some of our friends and I've been there and done that, I never hold some grudges to anyone specially when I respected the relationship/friendship that I had with that person but sometimes overwhelming feeds you more than it should be and its hard, hard to forgive those people who was once came into your life and just got out of it like it's the easiest thing to do, but we are talking about life and in life nothings easy and nothing's permanent or to last forever because any other way wether we like it or not we will lose something and what hurts the most is someone special. It's hard to go on and pretend like it's okay when everyones expecting you to be happy, everyones like pressuring you to your limit.

I lost some of the comfort feelings or what you called 'comfort zone' on some of my friends and current friends like we're not that close anymore, I would love to think that it was just a spur in the moment that I suddenly forgot. Its normal to actually feel like you don't belong in your group of friends, I know the feeling and I know how hard you try to fit in to them and just failed but remember its better to be alone and have 1 trusted friend than to have many. I only keep my childhood friends and my actual best friend in my whole life story and just keep some of my friends outside the story line but FRIENDS are FRIENDS so technically I don't trust many people than I actually did before since a recent events happened on my last school year I know you can't trust everyone, of course excluding my parents. I think its safe to say that we all have experience the loss of someone and the loss of a friend that was dear to us, I know that in someways some people will walk out into my life and move on with their own life and do the brighter things for themselves but some can always go back and be the same fruit in your trees again. It was never easy.

I've lost a lot of friends before and it's not that hard for me to be happy and joyful again, we may lose some of the people who we knew was the best thing that was once came into our life, we could be happy again maybe the agony will be gone but the memories we have with them will always be here in our heart. I know I'm still young, I will still meet some people along my long journey to life, and I still need to explore the beauty that was blinded by the people who were blocking my view to it, so all the people who take their part ways last year and this year I decided to take them as a lesson learned in life and that we may part ways now I will still be the better person and just accept the fact the you walk away and do things on your own, regardless of our friendship that was now cost a thousand memories, I will not shed tears for you, instead I'll stand up from the agony and the dark side of its dawn and show you how you were once the person I trusted. thank you for the bad and good things we shared together.

To all of you my beloved readers, I know you guys have ups and down when it comes to friendship and it's okay to lose some people, it's not easy 'i know' but sometimes you have to lose something to see the brighter things in life, never let a shadow of someone overtake the good things. Be the better person in the situation and never indirect or post vulgar statuses on your twitter or Facebook. Thats not the mature thing to do, you have your future life in the palm of your hand, be the good person and act like a classy lady, always put up a good use of your advantages.

-jackie

So long, So long

Hello, it's a fine summer for me, a lazy day everyday, go shopping, talk with old friends, and just do something that will kill time but eventually I'm getting lazier and lazier every time because of the heat. *groan dramatically* you can really feel the summer. But this is definitely not the point of this blog. So I've encounter a lot of my twitter friends (specially on twitter) having the same problem or diagnosis and its self-harming because of bullying and maybe some cause by our society and the peer pressure that i know most of us teenager are experiencing this days. 

One of my twitter followers is having a hard time, I saw her tweet and to be exact she's saying no one cares for her so she's better off alone, I DMed her because I wanted it to be a private conversation between me and her and so did I, she didn't hesitate to tell me all the things that she's been feeling how she always feel distraught and anxious, how no one else care about her, how she's not worth it and what hurt the most is how no one will notice if she's gone to be honest I feel like my knees are giving up from all the things she told me, I was devastated but I just let her pour her feelings out to me as I read and mentally listen to her. I told 'everything will be fine in the end' 'you're absolutely beautiful' 'I care' 'I'm here for you' all the things I said was endless of compliments and comfort words and you know what? I was having a second guess she'll believe me but then what surprise me the most is that she thanked me and told me I save her, I was super happy and feel relived that she didn't do anything stupid to harm her or ruin her life. She's a beautiful girl, I may not know her personally but I know what she's like by her tweets and how she talk to everyone, she's a nice girl and she deserve more than anything in world.

But thats not the point, my point is that it only shows how a simple 'are you okay?' and 'I'm here for you' can save someones lives and a simple smile to a stranger can make their day. We all have our own stories to share to everyone who we love and the best part about it is that even though we spill our distress on some stranger they won't judge us but they will understand us. I learn this in a hard way and I know deep down all of us are struggling to overcome something, but this I promise you when you do overcome it you'll be the greatest person you will ever be and it will all be okay in the end, it will always turn out the way you want things to be or maybe yet it will be greater than the things you wish it  will be. 

You only see the things the person wants you to see, but you would never know how it feels until you're in their shoes, so don't judge someone so easily maybe they self-harm and your stupid comeback won't help her/him at all, maybe they have a bad childhood and your remarks wont help her/him, maybe they have a family problem and you're teasing wont help him/her at all. It's never easy for everyone, we all have our own different problems in life and making someone feel less better or greater than you won't make you any less than a low person. You're a person too, you have your problem, they have theirs. 

A lot of teenagers around my age are experiencing a tough road in life and I've seen many of my close twitter friend or a stranger self-harming or committing suicide, maybe to end the suffering and the pain that we also caused to them, people always start caring when its too late and that makes me sad because its true they wouldn't care when you say good things (some people do) they wouldn't care when you're sick but when you close the wall up to them and you start doing stupid things they will start to care, It's frustrating but I really do understand those people, they are in pain, they don't think anyone loves them because some people just don't like showing affection and I get it. But the thing is, you just need to open your eyes and see closely that someone truly does love you, your parents, your best friend and those people who always look at you when you walk pass them, they do care they may not show you but trust me they do, don't be afraid to seek or ask for help, it doesn't show weakness it shows courage that you wanted to be better and I know you will be better. 

You will hear from me next week, thanks for reading. Don't be the echo, be the voice.

watch this, this is heart melting video ever <3

-Stay strong, Jackie :)

Shop till you drop

Hi guys, so this one is a quick short post for today because you know a lot of stuffs that needs to be taken care off. So I've been asked a lot by so many people about some of my clothes and their brands and I'm very flattered to all your beautiful and very heart full compliments, so as you guys can see I've received a beautiful package last, last week and guess where its from? BURGER&FRIENDS, you guys should check them out I will link their website later ;) they're very cheap and very comfy to wear.
As you can see I have a full cat theme and an american dirtbag shirt and 'too dumb for New York, too ugly for L.A' shirt isn't it cute?

BURGER&FRIENDS

And the shades can you say awesome? I know, thats like my new favourite sunglass now its summer so yeah its perfect. I was really contemplating on whether I should buy some online clothes more than to go to the mall because online shops have great deals and more good details shirts but they're all expensive so I don't think I can afford any of it, I have like a bunch of online shops that I wanted to visit but I cant torture myself looking at those beautiful clothes when I know I can't afford it or nor buy one piece.

Short&tank - forever 21 Sunglass - Burger&friends

This screams SUMME, its comfy and very beach-y wear don't you guys agree? I really like pairing my tank top to a DIY shorts because it makes it look catchy and stylish yet so simple

FOREVER 21

Those people who knew me too well knows how much I love forever 21, its like my guilty pleasure or more like HARD ON OBSESSION, but they're beautiful and affordable (maybe some) but they're all so pretty :( I just can't help but love every piece of clothing inside the store. It's not my fault I was born girl.

Remember I'm not posting this for bragging I'm posting it because some people requested me to do a fashion blog but I can't because I'm not good at posting like professional model and plus I DONT HAVE A DSLR so I'm sorry if I can't do a fashion blog I tried once and failed plus I need a good camera for it. *sigh* bye guys this is it I'm not sure if when will I be back and post something here but I promise when I have the time to post more or when I got a boost of energy to type then I'll post more but this is the last post for this week :(


Burger&Friends: burgerandfriends.com
Forever21: forever21ph.com or forever21.com

-Lots of love, jackie

Take a walk

Hi guys, its been awhile since I last wrote a blog. I was having a blast summer and I am really grateful about it, I was a busy kid (NOT) I've been spending my day working or sketching or maybe just hanging out with my cousins and watch horror movies but I rather not talk about my laziness because we tackled that from my very first blog so lets just move on yeah, yeah okay so basically I've had more less time on spending my hours on social networking sites specially on twitter I don't tweet much like I used to maybe because I'm more focus on my Social Life now than last time.

I have been talking to Ashley and Zach for like everyday because the fact that Ashley is in L.A while Zach is in London was hard for us to communicate so we just talk over twitter or text or facetime each other but time zone sucks big time but I was thankful that we had the chance to talk to each other.

A lot of my friends are asking me about the project I'm working on and sorry guys but I can't tell you anything because first It was confidential and second I still need to talk things out with my parents because they were the one who will sort things out for me and my dream project, It was hard to be this ambitious and dreamer at my age and I'm ready to take a risk for it.

And I'm also focusing on my writing which I think needs an improvement, I highly doubt that I'll have time to do things for myself but anyway I love learning new things and believe it or not I'm a fast learner when I don't over take my laziness into things. It was great to have a supportive parents and friends because then you know you'll have someone you can lean on every time you have a downward on this. I'm really inspired this year to do my own things for myself and to learn new different things everyday and one way for me to have more ideas is to read more books and sketch new ideas but I seriously wish I have the confident to continue my secret talent (that only my cousins know of) but I'm not born with such a high confident like my friends and cousins and I'm thankful for that maybe confidents can take you somewhere but it also means it will eat your true colour and hide your inner classy girl so I'm fine with a having my shyness slash unexpected confident.

I never had the time to write a new story because I RATHER not write one for NOW, but I know I will get there and write a new one because I've been having this argument with myself and my subconscious to actually write a full story but I was so focus on my social life to actually do that.

I actually found myself using the laptop less frequently due to my new habit and time of sleeping, I was an early bird since last, last week and it was great to wake up earlier than everyone because thats the time where everyone is asleep and still in their daydreams while you can enjoy the warm breeze of the morning air and the peace beyond the branches on the trees, I think thats paradise

I found myself gawking every single time on a new fictional character especially on Noah and Tobias and my new to-marry-a-fictional-charater-list Warner and Reece can i have a high five there? *high five* I'm sorry boys but fictional characters are the best well I'm really not sorry so ...
anyway I'm sorry for a lack of post this month I'm really busy doing things and I never find some time to open my laptop and type some meaningful words but I promise to post more this time and I will post my 2nd blog tomorrow morning and I'm not promising anything about some excited things to write because I'm not a joyful person to begin with but read it anyway :)

-lots of love, Jackie