I can't believe that I am actually writing this post for everyone to see, but it was not my intention for anyone to believe everything that I will say and nor I don't want people to point out fingers to each other after this, but since I haven't gotten myself up from the grave of may and june I am now pouring my hearts out to this blog post. These pass few months, there are times where I can't help but think about how much I've grown into a girl with flowers in her hair and candy in her hands to a girl who've yet to explore the world, how time flies, people change and things get complicated as I struggle to find the right notes to my organs and violins. It's sad, sad to think about that in your past there are people there who are still waiting for you to enclose your closure again but too bad it's not the right path for you to take, no more.
There seems to come a time in everyones life when special friends starts to drop like files.
I can't help but feel vulnerable when it comes to letting people go, It feels like theres a tie knot that was now untangled, and it only means that its time to let go of those people who are now finding their own path but the sad part is that they didn't take a piece of you with them only shattered memories from the broken glass of bliss. It's sad that it become part of you to just trust everyone else you meet even how much some people caused you pain.
As my parents daughter, I know what love means in different opinion of others. I've been surrounded with big love and happy people on my entire 15 years of existence but also, I can't deny that there are times where some certain people rain on my parade and put back all the shattered glass on the floor for me to yet fix again. It anguishes me to see how this world can be, maybe sometimes... just sometimes.
I don't know why I am writing this, It's taking all the courage in me to write a post but since I didn't know who to let out my feelings then I take this as an exception. Either I choose to let my feelings go or its now or never... and I think I made my choice since I am writing this, sad and very dramatic post.
Again, as I've said many times now I am now a 15 years old child (yes, I still called myself a child) but that doesn't mean I am full grown up, I know for a fact that I still have so many things to learn and to do , I'm trying my best to be the person I've wanted to meet on the near future and I have yet to meet the real world after I graduated. Pretty much the real life hasn't started for me and yet I am here full of unsaid feelings and thoughts that I have kept for myself this pass few years. I've learn to let go, thats a good start of the real world, you need to let some things go for you to see a whole new perspective, you may not know its better than the first one. One cannot harm you for the rest of your lives but sorrow does. Take a risk, thats a two for two for me, I always tried to be spontaneous about everything I do, its keeping me hype and happy even when my day wasn't.
Okay so back to 'letting some people go' I know that a lot of you have that special friend you treasure the most and now have gone through a different way. These people came to you unannounced and leave the same trials, you feel like some part of you is now missing. You'll miss the gossip or the games you two play or whatever the hell you two loves to do, it doesn't matter. They will leave you a little broken inside and the fact that, that person leaves without saying good-bye is the hardest part of letting people go. You know that feeling where you're 2 years of friendship who feels like a family to you start to dissolve, we're left with no instruction to reset everything all at once again. No more movie nights, no more good morning text or no more memories to make, because thats the last station for your journey with that person, it hurts trust me but its sometimes the only way to move on with your own life.
Friendship just dies. Here today gone tomorrow, thats life its scary how things work and how easy it is for someone to come and go in your life as if you're not a permanent home for them. But there are far more good things for you to focus on so why keep blaming yourself from something that was once taught you to love who you are. Respect the relationship you have with those people because someday you will look back to this day and laugh at how stupid you are to actually think its all your fault.
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