Un Échec

I rarely don't open my laptop now and I barely talk to any of my current friends and I'm happy that I don't need to pretend like I'm some kind of guru to anyone because honestly it's irritating, anyway this is not about WHAT I DID THIS WEEK post and I'm not planning on writing those kind of stuff when needed too, starting today. Don't ask me why, because the point of this blog is for me to express my passion in life and make a mark on everyones heart and make you guys understand how precious life can be.


'Un Échec' meaning 'life and friends', I've been the kind of girl who always stood on her ground in some ways where I am the one who's taking over my life which is ironic from all of you because no one like EVER wanted anyone to take the pen from their hand to write their whole life story, so you guys understand my drift to this blog, (hopefully).

We always lose some closure to some of our friends and I've been there and done that, I never hold some grudges to anyone specially when I respected the relationship/friendship that I had with that person but sometimes overwhelming feeds you more than it should be and its hard, hard to forgive those people who was once came into your life and just got out of it like it's the easiest thing to do, but we are talking about life and in life nothings easy and nothing's permanent or to last forever because any other way wether we like it or not we will lose something and what hurts the most is someone special. It's hard to go on and pretend like it's okay when everyones expecting you to be happy, everyones like pressuring you to your limit.

I lost some of the comfort feelings or what you called 'comfort zone' on some of my friends and current friends like we're not that close anymore, I would love to think that it was just a spur in the moment that I suddenly forgot. Its normal to actually feel like you don't belong in your group of friends, I know the feeling and I know how hard you try to fit in to them and just failed but remember its better to be alone and have 1 trusted friend than to have many. I only keep my childhood friends and my actual best friend in my whole life story and just keep some of my friends outside the story line but FRIENDS are FRIENDS so technically I don't trust many people than I actually did before since a recent events happened on my last school year I know you can't trust everyone, of course excluding my parents. I think its safe to say that we all have experience the loss of someone and the loss of a friend that was dear to us, I know that in someways some people will walk out into my life and move on with their own life and do the brighter things for themselves but some can always go back and be the same fruit in your trees again. It was never easy.

I've lost a lot of friends before and it's not that hard for me to be happy and joyful again, we may lose some of the people who we knew was the best thing that was once came into our life, we could be happy again maybe the agony will be gone but the memories we have with them will always be here in our heart. I know I'm still young, I will still meet some people along my long journey to life, and I still need to explore the beauty that was blinded by the people who were blocking my view to it, so all the people who take their part ways last year and this year I decided to take them as a lesson learned in life and that we may part ways now I will still be the better person and just accept the fact the you walk away and do things on your own, regardless of our friendship that was now cost a thousand memories, I will not shed tears for you, instead I'll stand up from the agony and the dark side of its dawn and show you how you were once the person I trusted. thank you for the bad and good things we shared together.

To all of you my beloved readers, I know you guys have ups and down when it comes to friendship and it's okay to lose some people, it's not easy 'i know' but sometimes you have to lose something to see the brighter things in life, never let a shadow of someone overtake the good things. Be the better person in the situation and never indirect or post vulgar statuses on your twitter or Facebook. Thats not the mature thing to do, you have your future life in the palm of your hand, be the good person and act like a classy lady, always put up a good use of your advantages.

-jackie

So long, So long

Hello, it's a fine summer for me, a lazy day everyday, go shopping, talk with old friends, and just do something that will kill time but eventually I'm getting lazier and lazier every time because of the heat. *groan dramatically* you can really feel the summer. But this is definitely not the point of this blog. So I've encounter a lot of my twitter friends (specially on twitter) having the same problem or diagnosis and its self-harming because of bullying and maybe some cause by our society and the peer pressure that i know most of us teenager are experiencing this days. 

One of my twitter followers is having a hard time, I saw her tweet and to be exact she's saying no one cares for her so she's better off alone, I DMed her because I wanted it to be a private conversation between me and her and so did I, she didn't hesitate to tell me all the things that she's been feeling how she always feel distraught and anxious, how no one else care about her, how she's not worth it and what hurt the most is how no one will notice if she's gone to be honest I feel like my knees are giving up from all the things she told me, I was devastated but I just let her pour her feelings out to me as I read and mentally listen to her. I told 'everything will be fine in the end' 'you're absolutely beautiful' 'I care' 'I'm here for you' all the things I said was endless of compliments and comfort words and you know what? I was having a second guess she'll believe me but then what surprise me the most is that she thanked me and told me I save her, I was super happy and feel relived that she didn't do anything stupid to harm her or ruin her life. She's a beautiful girl, I may not know her personally but I know what she's like by her tweets and how she talk to everyone, she's a nice girl and she deserve more than anything in world.

But thats not the point, my point is that it only shows how a simple 'are you okay?' and 'I'm here for you' can save someones lives and a simple smile to a stranger can make their day. We all have our own stories to share to everyone who we love and the best part about it is that even though we spill our distress on some stranger they won't judge us but they will understand us. I learn this in a hard way and I know deep down all of us are struggling to overcome something, but this I promise you when you do overcome it you'll be the greatest person you will ever be and it will all be okay in the end, it will always turn out the way you want things to be or maybe yet it will be greater than the things you wish it  will be. 

You only see the things the person wants you to see, but you would never know how it feels until you're in their shoes, so don't judge someone so easily maybe they self-harm and your stupid comeback won't help her/him at all, maybe they have a bad childhood and your remarks wont help her/him, maybe they have a family problem and you're teasing wont help him/her at all. It's never easy for everyone, we all have our own different problems in life and making someone feel less better or greater than you won't make you any less than a low person. You're a person too, you have your problem, they have theirs. 

A lot of teenagers around my age are experiencing a tough road in life and I've seen many of my close twitter friend or a stranger self-harming or committing suicide, maybe to end the suffering and the pain that we also caused to them, people always start caring when its too late and that makes me sad because its true they wouldn't care when you say good things (some people do) they wouldn't care when you're sick but when you close the wall up to them and you start doing stupid things they will start to care, It's frustrating but I really do understand those people, they are in pain, they don't think anyone loves them because some people just don't like showing affection and I get it. But the thing is, you just need to open your eyes and see closely that someone truly does love you, your parents, your best friend and those people who always look at you when you walk pass them, they do care they may not show you but trust me they do, don't be afraid to seek or ask for help, it doesn't show weakness it shows courage that you wanted to be better and I know you will be better. 

You will hear from me next week, thanks for reading. Don't be the echo, be the voice.

watch this, this is heart melting video ever <3

-Stay strong, Jackie :)

Shop till you drop

Hi guys, so this one is a quick short post for today because you know a lot of stuffs that needs to be taken care off. So I've been asked a lot by so many people about some of my clothes and their brands and I'm very flattered to all your beautiful and very heart full compliments, so as you guys can see I've received a beautiful package last, last week and guess where its from? BURGER&FRIENDS, you guys should check them out I will link their website later ;) they're very cheap and very comfy to wear.
As you can see I have a full cat theme and an american dirtbag shirt and 'too dumb for New York, too ugly for L.A' shirt isn't it cute?

BURGER&FRIENDS

And the shades can you say awesome? I know, thats like my new favourite sunglass now its summer so yeah its perfect. I was really contemplating on whether I should buy some online clothes more than to go to the mall because online shops have great deals and more good details shirts but they're all expensive so I don't think I can afford any of it, I have like a bunch of online shops that I wanted to visit but I cant torture myself looking at those beautiful clothes when I know I can't afford it or nor buy one piece.

Short&tank - forever 21 Sunglass - Burger&friends

This screams SUMME, its comfy and very beach-y wear don't you guys agree? I really like pairing my tank top to a DIY shorts because it makes it look catchy and stylish yet so simple

FOREVER 21

Those people who knew me too well knows how much I love forever 21, its like my guilty pleasure or more like HARD ON OBSESSION, but they're beautiful and affordable (maybe some) but they're all so pretty :( I just can't help but love every piece of clothing inside the store. It's not my fault I was born girl.

Remember I'm not posting this for bragging I'm posting it because some people requested me to do a fashion blog but I can't because I'm not good at posting like professional model and plus I DONT HAVE A DSLR so I'm sorry if I can't do a fashion blog I tried once and failed plus I need a good camera for it. *sigh* bye guys this is it I'm not sure if when will I be back and post something here but I promise when I have the time to post more or when I got a boost of energy to type then I'll post more but this is the last post for this week :(


Burger&Friends: burgerandfriends.com
Forever21: forever21ph.com or forever21.com

-Lots of love, jackie

Take a walk

Hi guys, its been awhile since I last wrote a blog. I was having a blast summer and I am really grateful about it, I was a busy kid (NOT) I've been spending my day working or sketching or maybe just hanging out with my cousins and watch horror movies but I rather not talk about my laziness because we tackled that from my very first blog so lets just move on yeah, yeah okay so basically I've had more less time on spending my hours on social networking sites specially on twitter I don't tweet much like I used to maybe because I'm more focus on my Social Life now than last time.

I have been talking to Ashley and Zach for like everyday because the fact that Ashley is in L.A while Zach is in London was hard for us to communicate so we just talk over twitter or text or facetime each other but time zone sucks big time but I was thankful that we had the chance to talk to each other.

A lot of my friends are asking me about the project I'm working on and sorry guys but I can't tell you anything because first It was confidential and second I still need to talk things out with my parents because they were the one who will sort things out for me and my dream project, It was hard to be this ambitious and dreamer at my age and I'm ready to take a risk for it.

And I'm also focusing on my writing which I think needs an improvement, I highly doubt that I'll have time to do things for myself but anyway I love learning new things and believe it or not I'm a fast learner when I don't over take my laziness into things. It was great to have a supportive parents and friends because then you know you'll have someone you can lean on every time you have a downward on this. I'm really inspired this year to do my own things for myself and to learn new different things everyday and one way for me to have more ideas is to read more books and sketch new ideas but I seriously wish I have the confident to continue my secret talent (that only my cousins know of) but I'm not born with such a high confident like my friends and cousins and I'm thankful for that maybe confidents can take you somewhere but it also means it will eat your true colour and hide your inner classy girl so I'm fine with a having my shyness slash unexpected confident.

I never had the time to write a new story because I RATHER not write one for NOW, but I know I will get there and write a new one because I've been having this argument with myself and my subconscious to actually write a full story but I was so focus on my social life to actually do that.

I actually found myself using the laptop less frequently due to my new habit and time of sleeping, I was an early bird since last, last week and it was great to wake up earlier than everyone because thats the time where everyone is asleep and still in their daydreams while you can enjoy the warm breeze of the morning air and the peace beyond the branches on the trees, I think thats paradise

I found myself gawking every single time on a new fictional character especially on Noah and Tobias and my new to-marry-a-fictional-charater-list Warner and Reece can i have a high five there? *high five* I'm sorry boys but fictional characters are the best well I'm really not sorry so ...
anyway I'm sorry for a lack of post this month I'm really busy doing things and I never find some time to open my laptop and type some meaningful words but I promise to post more this time and I will post my 2nd blog tomorrow morning and I'm not promising anything about some excited things to write because I'm not a joyful person to begin with but read it anyway :)

-lots of love, Jackie

Start of something

I haven't gotten any day off for myself since the last day of school so I'm sorry for not posting enough in here. This pass few weeks have been eventful and very exciting I may say so myself, I've been spending my day with my dad and mom, my best friend who also turned 18 this march, 16 I am more happy than ever to spend that special day with her. I've been going to my dentist this pass few days to fix my brace and my dad got me two new books which I think is fair enough for me to occupy myself when I'm bored specially because my family doesn't have any plans YET this summer, but crossed finger to that (batangas or bora-bora please *whisper to my self*) and I have been sketching nonstop at night for my upcoming project to work on. I'm really looking forward to work with so many people this summer as so relax and have a good summer with my family and relatives.

I have gotten myself busy this summer and I also meet new friends along the start of this sizzling summer 'oh well you know if they look friendly be friends with them' phrase, yeah sistah thats me.
But I also miss spending my day with my friends which I haven't seen since the last day of school but anyway they can live without me hanging out with them for 3 months straight. Anyway I have like... like good, good, good news ... guess what? oooh well I have 22 new books OMG like come on dance with me and lets celebrate. okay i know I'm so ecstatic (favourite word oh gosh).

So yeah I know this summer will have a full blast and I know there will also be a hard time along the way but who knows where this summer takes me. You never know maybe I'll be in New York this may. 'Just kidding' ha ha ha ha I'm so funny. *face palm* oh jackie what a weird child I bet if this is a video I'll be making a big fuss and oh god, I wont start with that.

I really don't know where to start about how I'm feeling this pass few weeks. I feel happy like I'm glowing, you know like glowing stick (really jackie? Glowing stick) yeah so I don;t know, as you can see I'm very happy and very hyper. This is what my family do to me they give me happiness, they give me a reason to keep on going. I know not all of us have a good family relationship and I'm proud that I have and I know they will always support me through everything, through my mistakes that I make/made, through my undecided decision and through out my whole life perspective. Too sappy for jackie haha but yes I am happy no matter what anyone says to me because otherwise it wont matter to me. You don't like me 'I don't care have nice life though', you hate what I'm doing? 'why care when you can ignore it', you don't believe in me 'sorry honey I can prove you wrong'

Come on people why send hate to someone who clearly don't give a damn about it, no matter what you say or do to me I won't stop. I'm being real so why bother? I have my own life, my own self, my own personality, my own style, and my own perspective. We may see things the same but we have a total different meaning to it.

I don't what to hurt other people by saying this stuffs that I know some of you might know who this is for *sigh* you don't do stupid things for yourself, you do it for the one you care. *too sappy and sweet eww* I don't think you know this but its not really a bad thing to have someone to care for you but if you didn't take the chance that once in your door well better luck next time for you, 'you screwed up and bye have a nice life finding a dog tracking your smelling pants'

This is a good start for my summer, new books, new clothes, new friends and a family to stay with the whole life. I really wan't this summer to be unforgettable, I want this to be the summer I will play back and rewind on my head as if it's a movie type of scene and I know it will :)



Happy summer everyone, hope you have a good one. ;)

-Jackie xx

Books Recommendation

To start of this NEW BLOG he! sorry need to capitalised that but okay so back to where it began, so basically this was my book recommendation blog and I'm so sorry for this late blog that I was supposed to write last monday, its supposed to be a book review but then all my thoughts got bundled up with one idea and thats to put all the books that I wanted you guys to read because it's amazing *singing voice*

The Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkien like OMG i know a lot of people have heard about this and well seriously its amazing, you all should read this I won't give anything away about this book because it will be my fault why you guys will get addicted to this, and hopefully this summer I can have my whole collection. an actual book of the hobbit oh my thats heaven.

so you guys know JAY ASHER one of my favourite author, and this book is one of my best recommendation because it has that thrilling and intense scene in it, its mysterious and very very thrilling (okay I said thrilling 2 times now wait this makes it 3 okay I'm good)

I would recommend a book set of John Green to you guys but Its too mainstream for me to post that on here, but here is one of the best work Mr.Green wrote and it was one of my favourite, you guys should read this not only 'The fault in our stars' don't get me wrong I love TFIOS but i think most of the people who read it, are only reading it because it was 'POPULAR' like they don't know the whole concept and twist around the TFIOS which I am sad about.

If you don't want to sleep at night without something creeping you out, well I recommend this to you Ghost Huntress by Marley Gibson a lot of people know my obsession on this book which I doubt will go away from years now because this book is stuck in my head and it will never go away, I highly recommend this to those people who loves suspense and horror type of books :) you'll enjoy Kendal's adventure through paranormal world of dead people :)

If you want an inspiration, well heres the book you needed to read it's very good and very inspiring, as you turn every page of this book it will surprise you and yourself that you were actually turning into a wise person by THOUGHTS.

Amazing book, amazing author and amazing cover, this is one of those book where the main character falls in love with a main character on a BOOK did you get what i say? can relate to it? yup i think so because me? I have like thousand list of characters I want to marry but sadly they're not real , don't get me started *sigh* so anyway one of my favourite Jodi Picoult book :)

If you want to cry and just shed tears every page well this book is perfect for you, like when I finish reading tears i have a puffy eyes and runny nose all night because this book is devastating and well dramatic book for me, it was drama and ugh i can't even explain it, it was one of the best book ever not that it has a new idea which is wrong because this book is just normal and simple like you know the story's ending when you read the first pages but then this book will grabbed your heart and squeeze it until you start screeching and plus GYVER oh my gosh don't look at me.

okay this was long but Tiffany Schmidt just replied to me on twitter like 'ADFHGKLSYIAP'

Don't get me started to this book I was .. I can't .. I'm emotionally fragile when I read this like 'VERONICA ROTH I NEED THE THIRD BOOK ALREADY DON'T MAKE ME WAIT TILL OCTOBER' yup my reaction. A lot of people keep comparing divergent to hunger games which I am pissed off don't get me wrong I love both but definitely Divergent have more sense of action and suspense than hunger games has so to those people who compared this to hunger games PISS OFF.

UGH Michelle Hodkin is my queen she's damn girl you'e amazing, seriously i am addicted to this book and it was F A N T A S T I C you all should read this i already gave this a 100000 stars haha best book ever.

I don't want this post to be longer but as i expected it if i don't stop writing and recommend books to you guys which is actually non-stop if i continue this so yeah thank you for reading guys :) all you need to do is purchase this books which you think you'll love :)

Date a girl who reads

Date a girl who reads.

Date a girl who reads.

"Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books.

Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.

She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants.

You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already.Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings.

Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone.

If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes."

-Rosemary Urquico

Its been awhile since i post or write something over here and It felt amazing to write again. I apologise for my delay of posting a new blog just because of some reasons that involved my hand and some school stuff plus "I DO HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE" anyway so this past few weeks or so months I've been hanging out with my friends like everyday and since then i haven't visit my blog and I can see a lot of request from my ask fm which I don't answer not because I don't like answering that kind of stuff but because you know the jackie phrase? 'I'm too lazy to do it maybe next time' yeah? and I hope you don't find me rude or 'big head' just because i don't answer all your question maybe next time when I feel hyper or I'm on a sugar rush :) *laugh* 

I really like to update you guys on whats been happening to my life lately and first I read books like a lot and you guys probably know that since I've been discussing it with my previous blog so anyway I have like 60 books and I haven't finish reading like 5 books so its quite a lot for someone lazy as me but nevermind the lazziness reading is what makes me happy and when summer starts I will be busy like B U S Y for a project which I might blog ;) but don't get too excited about it haha.

Basically this post is about books (duh captain obvious) and no guys I'm not pointing myself as a 'you should date a girl who reads', I think boys/guys don't really find a bookworm attractive or nice to date because they will 'smart talk' to them like about fictional things that mostly happen on books but you know what? who cares? a girl who reads are one of the coolest and smartest one, they give you a fantasy and reality at the same time because they've read it themselves, they know what love is even without experiencing it, they know how things will work without saying anything about it and they know how you feel just by your action because they feel it too just by reading a book which worth a thousand feelings. 

As a bookworm I feel happy everyday as I continue to read books that takes me to another world (which some of you find weird), It really makes me happy whenever I purchased a book even though I haven't opened it or read it because at the time I saw THAT book I know  it will intrigue my whole feelings towards the story and characters inside those papers that opens to another world. I have said this on my previous blogs, I have a list of 'Fictional Characters I fell in love with' and theres a lot of fictional characters I want to marry and be read but "Perfect boys only exist in books" *big sigh* I know guys I know how it feels when you fall in love with a fictional character as you read the book but then realising that they're not real and will never be *virtual hug for you all* 

Those who know me well enough to know I love reading as much as I love books and Cats and Strawberries *face palm* I know you guys find me weird and thats ok because I take that as a compliment so don't be shy to say I'm weird *evil smirk*. I love reading because it takes my sadness and loneliness away its what makes me happy and get me through the day, you learned something in it, in every books theres a lesson, you can take that lesson everyday and it will help you get through hard times, I'm telling you :) books are my best friend and as I grow older I want to write a book with my whole feelings in it as I became a grown up woman with a passion on writing and reading. 

This has been a good day to me and I feel really, really happy about this post because I share a passion with you guys and its been a pleasure to keep you as a reader of my blog, It really overwhelmed me when I saw like 3,000 views on my dashboard I was like 'OMG NO WAY NO WAY I'M WEIRD? HOW DID THIS HAPPENED?" and you don't wanna hear the rest of it but I really am thankful for you guys I hope you find something that you know you will take as you grow older. THANK YOU GUYS ILY :*

(I LOVE THE LUMINEERS I HOPE YOU GUYS LOVE THIS SONG AS MUCH AS I DO)