Decision

This was a mistake, to write an awfully personal blog post but it's a rightful and courageous mistake that I have made or should I say making since I'm still in the process of writing this as you read. Anyway, I have come to terms to take a big step, to step out of my comfort zone. To end the misery between my conscience and physical self, I was also contemplating wether I'm making the right choice for myself, instead I find myself to be exact opposite of what my mom would do, I don't call myself running away to face the problem which is not true, I prefer calling this 'facing the bigger problem' and I can't deny that it's selfish of me to make this decision but its what my heart and mind tells me to do, so I did. You all maybe confuse on what I am talking about but maybe at the right time you might find out about this, though to all those people who know what I'm talking about and some who I told disagree and find this childish, I'm not sorry. I will stand on my own without your relevant opinion. To those people who have accept my decision, thank you for understanding me through all those years we have shared together, that now I see how precious your presence is, I know I've been an awful friends to some of you, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm not the friend you wanted me to be, but I'm not sorry for being myself even for the couple of years we have shared you would probably tell who you are.

This decision that I suddenly pop up into all your face, might confuse you, but I did it for myself. I wanted to grow as a person not only as a student and a daughter, I want to explore this world and find all the answer to the unanswered questions. Believe me, I have been thinking about this lately, for more than year and right now may not be the best time but It will be better, I know it will.

Rather than spending my 5 hours into a chaotic world with no direction, I wanted it to be more splendid and worth telling someday, and sitting on the same position everyday wont help me grow.

Anyway this blog post is supposed to be long but to make it short and worth reading, I just wanted to open a topic that I've been trying to open, I know, I know. I've lost a lot of people, friends to be exact I guess you should just carry on with your life and let them carry with theirs. In a matter of time and place you'll find out who your true friends are, and those people are the one who's there when you need them the most [too cliche, i know] So I'm thanking all those people who have been there for me, you know who you are. Thank you for letting me grow and wiser.

To my mom and dad, I'm sorry if I ever let you down. Thank you for being so supportive through all the sudden decision that I've been making lately but I hope you know why I'm doing this, I can't thank you enough, thank you, thank you. I love you <3